if i had known

by Queer Kevin

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songs about crying, or whatever


released June 16, 2017

bass and vox by felix o'connor

drums by dylan reese

thanks to henny rose for letting us borrow an interface and to cynthia flores for lending us the mic

and to all of our friends for being wonderful, wonderful support




all rights reserved


Queer Kevin Columbus, Ohio

sad gay band

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Track Name: nothing
i wish i was better than this
i wish i was better than you
i wish i was better than nothing
i wish i could stop wishing
Track Name: la luna
i fell in love with the moon
glowing against my skin
something inside of me
awoke ancient and lost

i fell in love with the moon
ever there, she loomed
took my heart and my soul
encompassed my corporeal form

some days i am a looming cloud
and some days i reign soft
no matter the weather
she stayed

you were my moon
shining in the dark
but like a collision to the heart
you broke from me

travelling across eternity
close enough to touch
but when we came close enough
i felt gravity's wrath

cross my heart
i hope i die

the things you love
you will become

you were my moon
and then you stole all my light
Track Name: skeleton
desperately, i climb
clawing skin,
my hair is falling out
circles down the drain
i am caving in

swallow me whole
tear my skin
til i am made of bone
i will never win
i can never win

skeletons are holding me down
until i can't exist
skeletons will fill my closet
until no more can fit

you will never find my home
you will never find my home

Track Name: burn all cis men
fingers grasping, entangled in hair
i want them out
i still hear you, the things you said to me
dont you touch me, for i am made of fire
i'm alive

you will not hurt me again or i will guarantee to you,
you will burn

don't you touch me or it will be the end of your time
Track Name: joy division
lost and confused,
fumbling hands in dark rooms
touch my lips

i want to be yours, wholly
you make me feel like i'm holy

innocence like pocket change, you make me feel pure again
make the bad things in my head embrace me oh so tenderly

show me love
show me love

hold me, like i am falling out of your palms
and love me, like i'm the only thing you could want

you make me feel like i'm holy
Track Name: here / queer
criticize and control my body
wax and wane until i'm swallowed
suffocating in the wake of expectations
i will never be the one

we're here, we're queer
we're here, we're queer
we're here, we're queer, get used to it

break my back and break my soul
kill me with every step you go
wake up cold, afraid, and alone
i am not a monster
i am not a monster

we're here, we're queer
we're here, we're queer
we're here, we're queer, get used to it

i am not you monster
Track Name: golden rider
you rode on a horse of golden color
and you reached your hand out to mine
but like storm air rises, cold air falls
and you left me alone, in winter's icy palms

golden rider,
i wish you no harm
in any of your travels

you walked away so fast
that i didn't get to see you one last time
you left me alone
to rot

to rot
to rot
to rot